I very rarely see my cousins and when I do I love to bake for them. Its my way of trying to repay them for the kindness that they have shown me. My cousin Actor and my cousin Lawyer were coming over for a visit this last Friday. ( I dont like to use real names). So I took Friday off of work and as that was pay day I woke up bright and early and made it all the way over to wally world. Bought the supplies for carrot cake and when I got out walmart I noticed that my brake was not working. I stopped and took a look the brake had come completely apart. I do not know how to put it back together. I am gonna go to the local library and see if I can figure out how to put it back together.
Long story short the brake is shot. So my cousins came we had a lovely visit. Had a great lunch tamales, rice, beans and chile with the carrot cake as desert. Did I mention I got distracted and the cake was dry. My cousins are so sweet they ate it anyway.When we finished lunch we all went on a walk to the park. I noticed that my back was hurting. Its been quite painful for several days. When its faeeling better I am back on that bike.
I thought it would be a good idea to work out some of my anger. I have had anger issues most of my life. There are two people that I especially hate, my grandmother and my biological father. When I first started riding my bike it was extremely hard for me to get up the first small hill right by my house. I decided when I couldn’t get any more strength out myself that I would smash them by stomping down on my pedals. I named one for grams and the other for dear ole dad. This really worked I actually started to make some progress. I made it up that hill and even up the next hill just before the bike trail. I t notice to my pedals where making a popping noise I rode them like that for a few days. Then they started to bug the heck out me. I finally had to take a look at them. They were popping because I had physically broken them. They were the physical embodiment of my anger towards my enemies. When I broke the pedals, I realized that I also broke my anger towards them. I don’t hate them now I pity them for their cruelty, I pity them for being unable to love me, and I pity me for not being able to forgive and wasting my valuable life on being angry with them. You can’t make a chicken fly like an eagle, but you can leave the chicken behind and search out the eagle and enjoy its flight.
I have been struggling for over 2 months to get up this really hard hill. I keep riding up half way and then walking up the rest of the way. Today I made it up half way then stopped and rested and then kept going, I almost fell off my bike 3 times. But I made it up that stinking hill. My legs are killing me I will walk it tomorrow. Then the next day I will attempt the hill again. I dont count the fact that I almost fell I am proud of the fact I made it